confession london
REFRESH. HISTORY. MEMORABLE. IMPORTANT.

CONFESSION TIME: About the way we hurt.



"THIS IS WHY YOU HURT THE WAY YOU HURT. YOU HAVE TOO MANY WORDS IN YOUR HEAD. THERE ARE TOO MANY WAYS TO DESCRIBE THE WAY YOU FEEL. YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THE LUXURY OF A DULL ACHE. YOU MUST SUFFER THROUGH THE INTRICACY OF FEELING TOO MUCH."
― pleasefindthis, I Wrote This For You

He was always honest. He told me if he thought it's dangerous at night or if he wanted to see me again. He was always straight up. He said the perfect things in the right moments but never promised me the world. He just never needed to. He was the kind of free spirit that my over judged damaged heart just needed so badly, just to believe that his kind is still out there and that wild hearts really should never break completely.
He was the kind of nice guy that gave me hope. He wasn't perfect and he probably never would be mine. He was too heart broken himself to take on another mess of shattered pieces like me. But he showed me that's okay to hurt the way you hurt. Even if it means to hurt deeper than you thought you ever would.
And he had that silent grace in which he picked up all the broken pieces she left him and constantly put them back together, one by one, slowly, hurting like hell but still didn't stop.

It was his way of showing me that all you need is a leap of faith. That it's okay to be careful around fire after you got burned so badly. That it's okay to take your time and that you truly don't need to worry.
He became this carefree voice in my head that I knew from the beginning would change my path. I knew I would never forget him. Never lose him because he was never mine. Never get so close to make him a part of my life even though I badly wanted to. Never even get close enough to get a glimpse on his own kind of magic hidden behind those deep blue eyes.
But it would feel just close enough to let him touch me so truly, so deeply, it would not just inspire me but move me in a way that would make me believe: Believe in better days, in my own strength, my bright mind and the kindness of my heart. He would make me believe because he could.
24.11.14 00:39
 


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