confession london

CONFESSION TIME: Almost, just almost.

I was almost worried he would change me. Almost.
I was almost worried he would make me wanna stay. That he would bring out a side inside me that I almost forgot I had.

Everytime when I packed my things, ready to move to the next chapter of my life and my friends sat me down, right next to all my belongings, boxed up in my living room, they would ask me one question. If I would ever consider to stay somewhere. If the day could actually come and I would settle down for good.

I always laughed when they asked me that. I used to talk about staying. I used to think about it. It just never happened.
And then I always gave them the same answer. That one day if I would ever find a reason to not leave, I would stay. One day. If I would ever find that damn reason.

I was worried he could be that reason. That he could tame my heart enough that my urge to be with him would be bigger and stronger than to wander around the world alone. Maybe a part of me secretly hoped it would be possible to love someone that much. And to stay with him.

I was almost worried he would change me. I was scared, I was confused, I wasn't sure if it would freak me out and make me run or calm me down instead like coming home after just too many years of wandering and wondering.
I was almost worried that I found a new home. A place to stay. But just almost. Just almost.
7.11.14 16:07

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